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Astronomy Joke 1:
Q: What is Preparation A?
A: It is the name of an over-the-counter product used to relieve the pain and suffering of asteroids.
Astronomy Joke 2:
When Mr. Leno of the Tonight Show went J-walking and asked pedestrians some science questions, he discovered some amazing new facts about the universe:
Jay Leno: "Why does dew appear on plants in the morning when the Sun comes up?"
A waitress: "Is it because the Sun makes them perspire?"
Jay Leno: "Why does the Moon orbit the Earth?"
An auto mechanic: "To get to the other side?"
Jay Leno: What are magnets?"
A taxi driver: "Are they the things crawling over a week-old dead cat?"
Jay Leno: Which is more useful, the Sun or the Moon?"
A thirteen-year old: [Pause] "I think it's the Moon because the moon shines at night when you want the light, whereas the Sun shines during the day when you don't need it."
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Astronomy Joke 3:
It is reported that Copernicus' parents said the following to him at the age of twelve: "Copernicus, young man, when are you going to come to terms with the fact that the world does not revolve around you."
Astronomy Joke 4:
The Official Unabashed Scientific Dictionary defines black holes as what you get in black socks.
Astronomy Joke 5:
"Whatever the missing mass of the universe is, I hope it's not in cockroaches." a New York City tenant.
Astronomy Joke 6: A limerick about Edmund Halley
From the public, his discovery brought cheers.
From his wife, it drew nothing but torrents of tears.
"For you see," said Ms. Halley,
"He used to come daily;
Now he comes once every 70 years!"
Astronomy Joke 7:
An English major at a university was taking an astronomy course to satisfy the science requirement. During the last lecture of the semester, the professor spoke about some of the more exotic objects in the universe including black holes. Despite his teacher's enthusiasm, the student showed no interest, as was the case for all his astronomy classes during the semester. When the bell rang, the student turned to his friend and said, "The prof says that black holes are interesting, but I think they suck."
DANGER!!! BLACK HOLE LOCATED TO THE RIGHT. DON'T CLICK THERE:
Astronomy Joke 8:
An astronomy major had a part time job working in the university's off-campus housing office. One day, a fellow student, upon entering the office in thought about the morning lecture, asked, "What is an astronomical unit?" To which the astronomy major replied, "One helluva big apartment."
Astronomy Joke 9: An Outerspace Cartoon (size=28 K)
Are you interested in learning more about cosmologoy and astronomy?
Read a review about an astronomy book,
Or visit Jupiter Scientific's Reports and News in Astronomy,
Or read some chapters from the Bible According to Einstein.
Astronomy Joke 10:
Q: Before docking with the International Space Station, what must the pilot of a space module first do?
A: Put money in a parking meteor.
Astronomy Joke 11:
Q: If you ask a Russian cosmonaut when is his favorite moment to snack, how does he answer?
A: "Launch time."
Astronomy Joke 12:
Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Oh f****, it's just a satellite.
Astronomy Joke 13:
Famous Astronomer Quote: I was up all night wondering where the Sun had gone; ... then it dawned on me.
Astronomy Joke 14:
Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson were sleeping out in the wild.
At 2:00 am in the morning, Holmes woke up Watson and
he asked, "Watson, look up and pray tell me what you presume."
Watson replied, "I see a vast Universe, full of stars and wonder.
There is Venus over there. And the Moon is half lit.
I know that lurking at the center of our galaxy is a black hole,
and that gamma ray bursts occasionally blast at us,
that there are billions and billions of planets out there,
some of which must harbor life. We are not alone."
Watson would have continued but Holmes abruptly cut him off,
"No, Watson, you idiot! Somebody stole our tent!"
Astronomy Joke 15:
When the astronomy department found out their famous professor was not going to get the Nobel prize this year,
they decided to hold a party for him anyway and give him a constellation prize instead.
Astronomy Joke 16:
Well known are the words of Neil Armstrong when he first walked on the moon:
"One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."
However, few people know of NASA's coverup of a very embarressing event took place an hour later.
We, at Jupiter Scientific, have recently obtained a transcript of the conversation that transpired:
Niel Armstrong: "Oh sh***, Mission Control, I just stepped on Buzz Aldrin's toe. What should I do? Over."
Mission Control: "What do you think? Apollogize."
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